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Mon, Apr. 13th, 2009, 02:17 am

you ever feel like something has run its course?

Sun, Jun. 1st, 2008, 02:37 pm
solid food

i miss solid food. i got my wisdom teeth taken out (3) and have not eaten a solid meal for like 3 days. its all smoothies and soup. i mean i like both those things, but constantly? hell no.

and the vicodin. i get tired and then i have really weird dreams. about asian men cooking noodles in my house at 3 am. oh -kay.

i also resemble a chipmunk hiding food in my cheeks. its really just the horrible swelling.

i cant believe its june now. just a year i was graduating (with zuhair!). now im just another adult trying to make it in the world


i am now going to take my next vicodin and nap. hopefully my dreams wont be too weird.

Sun, May. 11th, 2008, 12:07 am

may is seriously the busiest month for me. birthdays (4 of them including myself, my sis and my anna and my friend becca). mother's day and a bunch of other business.

however, i feel that especially this birthday, i am going to feel old. im going to be 24. i can still remember turning 21 and hanging out at getaway cafe and worthingon's. now i am going to be an old bag. yay.

i 've been writing more lately. i want to to write a book, but have been sticking to short stories. i'll get there. everyday i think of at least one thing and say, "hey i should write a book about that". geez do i suck.

back to the old thing. it is really freaking me out. people from high school are married and having kids. why? kids scare me. do people just get married and have kids young because there is nothing else to do? i suppose. i love when people run into me at the market back home and are like, "you mean you aren't married yet?". i'm like "no fucker, i'm not. go buy diapers for your ugly kid". HA.

i refuse to let other people dictate where i should be in life. but a house with berto does sound nice. too bad houses are terrible prices in cali. we should probably just move to guam. at least it'll have a small town feel since guam really is the size of a small town.

well enough nonsense. back to exercising. this did make me feel better though. thanks livejournal

Wed, Feb. 27th, 2008, 03:56 am

so, here i am in this livejournal. unfortunately this is not a usual "happy" entry.

i had this awful epiphany that not everyone is entitled to the common happiness that we are so commonly forced to believe. Some of us just arent meant to have those things. Not meant to be perfectly happy.

tonight i found out i'm one of those fuckin people. well fuck it. i guess i'll just never know.

im out

Thu, Nov. 1st, 2007, 03:35 pm

I am sooooooooo stoked out of my mind. Why? Because Joe Torre is coming to the Dodgers!

This is such a big deal. I plan on celebrating all weekend by consuming alcohol. This could mean a very winning season for the boys in blue. Torre plans on picking his staff and possibly the players. I think it is only fair considering this guy truly knows how to breed a winning team.

I think L.A. will welcome Torre with open arms. I certainly do. Grady Little didn't have the enthusiasm and Lasorda didn't always make the best decisions. But I think Torre is just the respectable figure the Dodgers need to bring the Dodgers back up to par where they should be.

I can't wait for next season.

Until then, go Lakers, BOO Kobe. He just needs to leave. I can't stand that man-child anymore.

What a great day. Welcome Mr. Torre.

Tue, Aug. 14th, 2007, 11:40 pm
hopin for the best

well i leave for washington d.c on saturday for work and its funny. i was dreading this trip. but the more im here the more i think i may stay there and never come back. the only problem is i hate east coast living.

im excited to go shopping friday for my trip and welcome anyone to join me. I just need to get the fuck outta here. I love my job and everyone but i need outie.

i've noticed lately that society is crumbling apart. no one has respect for each other anymore. and they whine about shit thats their fault. i love how no one takes responsibility for anything these days. yes, it's everyone else's fault but yours. well boo fucking hoo. even people you thought were going in the right direction aren't. people just are disappointing. you think you can express yourself to the people you care about, but everyone is just a big fucking critic.

well, im sorry, but i just don't feel like having shit dumped all over me. you try being a shit barrel from time to time.

that's adequate. ha. gnite for now

Thu, Jul. 19th, 2007, 09:12 am
To find some beautiful place to get lost

so im at work and im totally out of it. i had an eventful last night that has made me feel incredibly worried. i felt like this once last summer. i was so beside myself that i couldnt even enjoy a dodger game and i love the dodgers.

i guess things happen where the bad blood needs to leak out and cleanse everything. but when this happens i feel so insecure and worried.

work feels so unbearable right now. maybe i burn bridges. maybe im not meant for this. i really want to be. its what makes me happy.

i guess you never know how close you are until you feel like you are going to lose that something.

get better

Mon, Jun. 25th, 2007, 01:54 am
and it goes on...

so life after graduation has been somewhat stressful, yet exciting. I have put in my two weeks at my current job and will be starting my new job on July 5th where I will be a ...duh duh duh DUH!!!!....a political organizer for a union in downtown LA. I couldn't have landed a more perfect job for my degree. They even pay for all my gas and travel and etc. FREE FOOD! WHOO! SO this was definitely pleasing.

I had a great graduation party with my family with like 80 people. I did a great Cher impersonation that night. And I wasn't even that drunk. Good times.

Graduation was awesome because after I was done coming down from the platform I held my arms up in the air and yelled "Steve Holt" at the top of my lungs. And yes I heard Zuhair yell my name. That made me happy that you, Zuhair, could appreciate my Steve Holt moment.

Also lately, it is amazing how you see who your real friends are. In just some of the simplest actions or lack thereof, you can always tell who really cares. This has definitely been a time of great lessons. I guess everyone isn't always who you think they are.

Other than that, it has been quite an adventure. Now i should have more time to write in this handy livejournal.

Thu, May. 10th, 2007, 01:08 pm

i have never felt so busy in my life! I feel like there is no down time whatsoever. Its either work or school or something else. Grad Fair was hell. It took like almost 2 hours in line! Crazy. At least I got my shit. And I did see some nice familiar faces-ZUHAIR I liked your hat and i miss you and NANCY it was so nice to see you again. Anyways, I am almost there. After my graduation ceremony I plan on getting so piss-drunk I can't even like spell my name. I took the day after off so I'm ready to get crunk.

In other news May is busy. Lots of birthdays. If you see my sister, tell her Happy Birthday because today she turns 16. What an age. Thats when I still had like energy, but smaller boobs. So I guess it was a trade off. Im tired but with bigger boobs. yay.

Peace out and cya real soon

Tue, Mar. 20th, 2007, 10:47 pm

i was thinking about the way the relationship with your parents changes. I feel like i have a family, but im not a part of that unit. They kind of cast you aside sometimes because they are done with you.

Ever since my uncle passed away, my mom completely changed. She doesnt even act like a mom. She's more closed off than she was before. It's weird. I thought she'd get closer to all of us.

It's weird moving back home because your life does change. You save money, but you sacrifice a few things. I think privacy and comfort being the most important. Your home becomes an awkward meeting place and you find solace in work and friends. That's just the way it goes I guess.

I do wish I knew how to talk to her though...

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